It seems I have to let go of two visions, and acknowledge and accept two contrasting realities.
I have to understand and acknowledge that in my lifetime I have to accept that I cannot make much of a difference in the reality that humanity has a very dark, inhuman side. I have to acknowledge that I am a specimen of that species, homo sapien, sapien, otherwise and generically known as humanity. I am a male specimen of humanity who often wishes he were not identified as a member of his own species, a species which has an affinity for killing and maiming, alongside, and in stark contrast to, an affinity for caring and nurturing.
I also have to understand and acknowledge that in my lifetime I have to let go of another vision, that of living in another country, needing and enjoying a rudimenatary grasp of another culture and language, based on a deep felt belief that being able to speak another's language is an essential bridge to understanding that other's view of life, which is so personally bound by the culture and memes so inherent in that other's experience.
The French have a way of capturing the essence of living in a way that, in contrast to the more prosaic volks langue of Anglo Saxon/Germanic peoples, speaks to me. Perhaps it's my hard to describe affinity for the French language. Perhaps that affinity has to do with my appreciation and enjoyment of what I feel is the poetic quality of the French language.
One of my disappointments in life is that I have not been able to follow my dream of living for a few years in France.
We all have dreams which are not realized; this is one of mine.
Leanderthal, Lighthouse Keeper
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